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I am never drinking again.

The reason is probably not what you might think.  Although I am battling one of my more severe hangovers in recent memory, the hangover is not even close to the reason I am stopping drinking.  And although my actions last night were despicable, again they are not the reason I am quitting drinking.  I know everyone's uttered the phrase "I am never drinking again" at least a few times in their lives if they experienced life a little, but I mean it.  Something happened last night that has broken me as an individual and I don't think I will ever recover.  As I write this it is taking me all I have not to jump off the top of the Tokyo Tower.  You might ask, what could have possibly happened to me to make me feel so down, and swear off the one thing responsible for the only entertaining part of this blog? The answer: last night I lost my iPhone. 

Yep.

Anyone who knows me knows that the iPhone is central to my entire being.  I literally cannot function without the iPhone.  The first sound I hear in the morning is the alarm from my iPhone, and from that point on we spend the rest of the day texting together, calling together, listening to music together, surfing the web together, playing checkers, blackjack and other games together before I plug it in to charge it while it sleeps next to me.

My first tear just dropped.

I know you are probably thinking or "Nick, it's just a phone."  But you would be wrong.  The iPhone is not just a phone.  It was my best friend, my heart, my soul, my passion, my life.  Once I got the iPhone, I shut down human contact for days to spend time with it.  We went to Vegas together, and I won.  But even that didn't matter, all that mattered then, and all that mattered from then on was that iPhone and I spent time together.  And spend time together we did.  iPhone was at my side through thick and thin.  I didn't have a computer for the first month of this school year, but it was okay because I had the iPhone.  The answer to any question I ever had, about anyhing, from directions to the 14th president of the United States, was at my fingertips, thanks to iPhone.  And I treated him as well as he treated me, protecting him, cleaning him, making sure he was always at a full charge and ready to perform at his highest function each day.  I kept him fine-tuned in all aspects of his capabilities.  We were a team.  

Friends would joke about how they couldn't be my friend anymore because iPhone was taking over my life, and I was okay with it.  Friends would joke about me and iPhone being so close we should have an album on facebook together, or be in a committed relationship.  And the thing is, we were in a committed relationship.  I could spend hours telling you about the capabilities of the iPhone, but that would be missing the point.  I have never loved a person like I loved that phone, as miserable as that is to say.  

As far as the night went, it was again filled with too much alcohol (a bottle of wine, 2 long islands, 2 shots by my last count), blackouts, girls dancing on tables and kissing (it was ladies' night in Roppongi after all), a mugging (which I thankfully was not a victim of), entirely too much money spent, and some regrettable decision making.  But none of that matters today, and none of that will be covered today.  

Fare well sweet iPhone, you may be replaced, but never forgotten.